


shenanigans at the ultimate level

by moonjuicewiththepresident



Series: wncgfg collection [4]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Sleep | Remy Sanders are Siblings, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Little Shit, Background Sleep | Remy Sanders, Background Thomas Sanders, Caring Logic | Logan Sanders, Chaotic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Chatting & Messaging, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Being an Idiot, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders In Love, Everyone Is Gay, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Morality | Patton Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders Are Twins, Polyamory, Queerplatonic Intruality, Queerplatonic Relationships, Swearing, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Trans Logic | Logan Sanders, also just a note, because I said so, i love them, i make the laws babey, i sure hope so, logan is blonde because i said so, no offense to virgil but he's a fucking dumbass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 10,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26664361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonjuicewiththepresident/pseuds/moonjuicewiththepresident
Summary: college fucking sucks, but these idiots are having fun with it
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Procrastination | Nate Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Background Sleep | Remy Sanders/Thomas Sanders (Video Blogging RPF), Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Nico Flores/Thomas Sanders/Sleep | Remy Sanders, QPP Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: wncgfg collection [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1937476
Comments: 84
Kudos: 183





	1. welcome back, dumbasses

**Author's Note:**

> guess who's back, bitches
> 
> so, as you can tell, this is a sequel to a fic i did that i love and will miss dearly. you don't really have to read the first one, but you might be a tiny bit confused as to why these kids are the way they are.
> 
> just for clarification's sake- this takes place AFTER the events of was nick carraway gay for gatsby, right after they all left for college.
> 
> anyways
> 
> patpat- patton  
> lo- logan  
> roro- roman  
> raccoon- remus  
> sure jan- janus  
> virgy virge- virgil

**lo** to  **sunflower seeds**

**lo:** guys

**lo:** roman is the worst freaking roommate in the world

**raccoon:** don’t be salty, you signed yourself up for this

**lo:** ???? he was the one who brought it up?????

**roro:** ????? what’d i do???

**lo:** so picture this-

**lo:** after a long day of the worst classes in the world, you go back to your dorm, find that your roommate/boyfriend has moved all of the random stuff from the closet on the other bed as a subtle way of him telling me that he wants to sleep with me in the most platonic way

**lo:** so, you have dinner (boxed mac n cheese because your boyfriend is a goddamn child), get ready for bed, and fall asleep

**lo:** late in the middle of the night, you get up to go to the bathroom, sit down, and immediately fall into it because your roommate is a jerk who leaves the seat up

**lo:** so at two in the morning, your boyfriend wakes up to you spewing profanities  _ very loudly _ and finds you in the toilet and promptly starts laughing at you

**roro:** but it was kinda funny

**lo:** no, it really wasn’t

**lo:** i’m this close to breaking up with you

**virgy virge:** okay, i think you both forget that we don’t have normal school hours anymore, so  _ some of us still have classes when you go on a rant _

**lo:** oh

**lo:** whoops

**raccoon:** ugh, i already wanna quit

**raccoon:** what if i become a stripper or prostitute

**lo:** you would make a ton of money

**patpat:** please don’t encourage him

**patpat:** btw when should i drive up to you?

**raccoon:** mmmmmm,,,,,, saturday?

**patpat:** !!!!!

**raccoon:** !!!!!

**sure jan:** i think we’re all ignoring the big elephant in the room

**roro:** ????

**sure jan:** you know, the whole thing of how we haven’t talked in like, three weeks????

**lo:** to be fair, we were doing move-ins and figuring out classes

**sure jan:** yeah, but we just pick up where we left off??

**raccoon:** i mean i guess

**raccoon:** what else are we supposed to do lol

**virgy virge:** wait i forgot to ask, what are y’all majoring in

**sure jan:** sociology

**raccoon:** bro i straight up don’t remember

**raccoon:** might be graphic design, not really sure though

**virgy virge:** graphic design is my passion uwu

**lo:** cursed

**lo:** also, for pre-med, biological sciences

**virgy virge:** oh yeah, i forgot you’re an overachiever

**roro:** music education babey

**patpat:** psychology for pre-med

**virgy virge:** dude, you two need to chill out with your planned out futures and stuff, it’s freaking me out

**virgy virge:** just be like the rest of us and don’t have a clue what we’re doing 

**virgy virge:** and since no one’s asking me, i’m doing music performance

**roro:** dude, you have like,,,, major anxiety

**virgy virge:** it’s called therapy, learn it, hoe

**roro:** ouch

**roro:** so we’re back to insulting me until we get something more interesting?

**lo:** apparently

**raccoon:** so, remember how i signed up for a single dorm?

**roro:** yeah, you fought for that stupid room

**raccoon:** so i have a roommate

**roro:** ?????

**raccoon:** yeah, i’m also very confused too

**virgy virge:** that poor soul

**raccoon:** yeah, i’ve already made a gross mess of the shower

**patpat:** are you taking care of our build a bear?

**raccoon:** yeah, i carry ferb everywhere with me

**raccoon:** gotta raise our kid right

**sure jan:** you two have such a complicated and confusing relationship

**patpat:** lmao yeah

**lo:** so we have a month and a half til thanksgiving

**raccoon:** crap

**raccoon:** dude, that’s so freakin far away

**virgy virge:** remy’s like, begging me to come back home lol

**lo:** yikes

**sure jan:** man, i’m gonna miss that kid

**lo:** yeah, we just got to talk the entire time during band and i honestly miss that

**lo:** the people next to me are super boring

**roro:** dude, same

**sure jan:** jokes on you, i’ve already been making friends

**sure jan:** also, i went to a party

**virgy virge:** ?????

**sure jan:** yeah, so i walked in, everyone was drunk out of their minds, someone tried to make out with me, and i immediately walked out

**virgy virge:** >:(

**sure jan:** dude, chill, i’m meeting you at arby’s in an hour

**virgy virge:** oh yeah lol

**raccoon:** wow, imagine only living twenty minutes away from your partner

**patpat:** i miss you, ree :(

**raccoon:** we’re going to see each other again soon, right?

**patpat:** ofc!!!

**raccoon:** :D

**roro:** can y’all like, stop being like that???

**raccoon:** you just hate me cause you ain’t me

**roro:** and suddenly i’m glad we don’t live in the same house anymore

  
**raccoon:** ouch


	2. blonde logan agenda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man, i've missed trying to come up with the weirdest titles i can
> 
> also, i had the perfect plan for working in the orange side in the last one cause i was like, oh, i'm never gonna finish that before the next sanders sides episode comes out and uh, oops
> 
> also, i wrote two shorts today for the series and man, that last one,,,,
> 
> patpat- patton  
> roro- roman  
> raccoon- remus  
> lo- logan  
> sure jan- janus  
> virgy virge- virgil

**roro** to **sunflower seeds**

**roro:** k, i know virgil wanted to see the progress, so logan’s hair has finally grown out all the color

**roro:** blonde.jpg

**virgy virge:** BLONDE LOGAN

**lo:** it’s weird to not have my hair dyed, i will admit

**lo:** i haven’t had my natural hair for a long time

**sure jan:** yeah, it’s weird to see that

**lo:** i’ve had my hair dyed since eighth grade and now,,,, it’s just,,,,, normal?

**raccoon:** you look like a ken doll

**lo:** yeah, okay, i’m dying it again

**raccoon:** wait wait wait no, it’s like, in a good way

**lo:** oh

**roro:** yeah, it looks like, really good on you

**virgy virge:** ????? horny????

**roro:** ??? so what???

  
  


* * *

  
  


**virgy virge:** man, i forgot i was going to a religious school for a minute and i made a comment to my roommate about like, god not existing and he looked so scandalized

**roro:** lmao rip

**roro:** yeah, i’m glad logan and i are roommates so we can rant to each other about chapel stuff

**raccoon:**????

**lo:** yeah, we’re required to go to church for two semesters

**virgy virge:** big oof

**lo:** it’s not that bad, really

**lo:** roman and i just text the entire time

**sure jan:** wow, imagine having to go to church _and_ college

**raccoon:** could _never_ be me

**patpat:** yeah, i’m glad i didn’t choose a religious college

**patpat:** not that there’s anything wrong with organized religion, it’s just not really my thing

**sure jan:** yeah, so before our mom and dad divorced and our mom married our other mom, our birth father made us go to church all the time and taught us it was bad to be gay

**patpat:** yeah, and look how well that turned out lol

**sure jan:** yeah, we’re both gay and our mom married another woman

**lo:** nice

**raccoon:** i got assigned a new roommate lol

**roro:** ten bucks says they’re not gonna last two weeks

**raccoon:** i’d say one week

**patpat:** k, but he’s not that bad????

**raccoon:** yeah, i’m just disturbing to most people

**lo:** i miss my chaotic science partner, honestly

**raccoon:** i miss my science partner who would immediately drop all the rules to find out what would make a flame color brown

**lo:** man, our chemistry teacher was never happy with us, but we always did our work and got really good grades on our tests so he couldn’t fail us

**roro:** never put these two in a room together cause they’ll burn it down as an “experiment”

**lo:** it’s called scientific curiosity, bitch

**raccoon:** yeah, roman, jeez

**roro:** lmao sorry i guess

**virgy virge:** k, i miss all of my vinyls already

**sure jan:** did you not bring them???

**virgy virge:** my roommate doesn’t like my music taste

**roro:** they don’t like lana del rey?????

**virgy virge:** yeah :(

**roro:** switch fucking roommates, who the fuck doesn’t like lana del rey????

**virgy virge:** connor fucking thomson, that’s who

**sure jan:** what a bitch

**raccoon:** i left my hydroflask at home and now i have to order another one :(((

**virgy virge:** just???? drive home???]

**raccoon:** four and a half hours????

**virgy virge:** oh yeah lol

**sure jan:** dumbass

**virgy virge:** ???? rude???

  
  


* * *

  
  


**raccoon** to **sunflower seeds**

**raccoon:** man, i bet those colors that shrimp can see are shit

**raccoon:** i hope so

**raccoon:** i want to see extra colors

**raccoon:** that would make my art extra rad

**lo:** remus, it’s tHREE IN THE MORNING

**raccoon:** ???? so what?????

**lo:** we’re all trying to sleep????

**lo:** some of us are in ridiculously difficult classes and need to sleep

**raccoon:** you’re just mad bc roman and you’ve been too busy to bone

**roro:** ??? no???

**sure jan:** jesus christ, shut up

  
 **raccoon:** oh yeah, sorry lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> skate fast eat ass, as they always say


	3. existential crisis with logan!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> logan finally comes to a realization and honestly, good for him
> 
> thank you for all the support on this!!! i really thought that people would kinda be annoyed that i was keeping this story going, but so far, the reactions have been pretty good!!

**lo** to  **sunflower seeds**

**lo:** might fuck around and switch majors

**virgy virge:** ????? are you good?????

**lo:** no

**lo:** straight up not having a good time rn

**roro:** hold on, i’m on my way back to the dorm

**lo:** everything sucks at the moment and i’m dropping out

**sure jan:** what’s wrong?

**lo:** everything

**roro:** i’ll take care of it, dw

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Logan?” Roman opened the door to their dorm. “Are you alright?”

“No,” A muffled reply came from his bed. “Why would I be alright?”

Roman huffed out a laugh and walked over to the lump on the bed. “Darling, what’s wrong?”

Logan shuffled over, patting the bed next to him. Roman sighed, kicking off his shoes and crawled next to him. “Ro, I’m tired.”

“What do you mean?” He frowned.

“I think I wanna quit,” Logan mumbled. “I want to drop out.”

He sat up. “What?”

“I just don’t think I can do this anymore,” He sniffled. “Ro, I don’t want to do this.”

“Are you alright?”

“Everything I’ve ever done in my life is because of my parents,”

“Lo, what-”

“The other day, my medical terminology teacher asked us why we wanted to become healthcare professionals, and everyone said that they wanted to help people, or they’d been inspired, but I couldn’t think of a single reason I wanted to do it. I don’t even want to do it, it was just my parents who told me my entire life that I  _ had _ to do it, and I-”

Roman cut him off. “Lo, you’re hyperventilating, sweetheart.”

“Sorry,” He took a deep shuddering breath. “It’s just, well, I just don’t know to do, Ro. For once in my life, I don’t have someone telling me what to do.”

“Well, what do you want to do?”

Logan blinked. “What?”

“What do you, Logan Bishop, want to do?” Roman asked.

“I,” He paused. “I don’t really know.”

“What do you like to do?”

“I like to play my oboe, I liked tutoring kids, I,” Logan smiled. “I really liked teaching the kids who were struggling in chemistry.”

“Okay, so,” He grinned at him. “Music or teaching?”

“What?”

Roman rolled his eyes. “We’re choosing your future, dumbass. Now choose one.”

“I guess teaching,” He shrugged. “Chemistry, probably.”

“Alright,” Roman reached over and grabbed Logan’s laptop.

“Are you changing my major?” Logan snatched it back.

“Yeah,” Roman yanked it back.

“No, you’re not,” He tried to take it back, but Roman held a vice grip.

“Logan, you’re not happy and I want to help you,” Roman stopped him. “If you keep letting your parents dictate your life, you’re never going to be satisfied with what you’re doing.”

Logan bit his lip before nodding. “Fine, but I get to do it.” 

“What, you don’t trust me?” Roman teased.

He snorted. “Absolutely not.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


**raccoon** to  **sunflower seeds**

**raccoon:** man, whatcha think they’re doing rn?

**sure jan:** i mean, what else would they be doing?

**lo:** changing my major, that’s what we’d be doing

**virgy virge:** sorry,  _ what???? _

**lo:** yeah, i kinda realized that he only reason i was doing medical shit was because that’s all my parents wanted from me

**lo:** i couldn’t think of a single reason i wanted to go into the medical field

**lo:** so now i’m going into science education because that’s really what i’ve always wanted to do

**sure jan:** well damn

**raccoon:** good for you, dude

**virgy virge:** well i guess pat’s the only overachiever now

**lo:** no, i’m always gonna be an overachiever, you know this

**virgy virge:** honestly fair

  
  


* * *

  
  


Patton squealed and launched himself at Remus. “Ree!” 

“Patty!” Remus laughed, picking him up and spinning him around. “I missed you so much!” 

“I know, I missed you too, it’s been so long,” He pouted. “I’m so far away from you and I hate it.”

“So how have you been? How’s school going?” Remus asked.

“It’s hard but interesting. How’s graphic design?”

Remus giggled. “My art teacher finds my ideas hilarious and I love her for it.”

“I wish that was the same for me,” Patton sighed. “I don’t think my professors like me that well.”

He gasped. “What? But how?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know, I think I annoy some people.”

“What’s the thing you always say? If you talk bad about yourself, I’ll fight you?”

“Yeah, but-” Patton tried but Remus cut him off.

“Patton, you’re so amazing,” Remus pulled him into a hug. “I really wish you’d be able to see that.”

“Thanks, Ree,” Patton smiled against his chest.

“Alright,” Remus pulled back. “We have a lot to catch up on. You wanna go to Waffle House?”

He grinned. “I’d love that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i re-read the previous chapters and holy crap, those did absolutely not flow well, so whoops


	4. dude, we're getting the gang back together!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love phineas and ferb and i couldn't resist having this chapter name

**lo** to  **sunflower seeds**

**lo:** roman, you’re late.

**roro:** ik, ik, rehearsal ran late, sorry

**lo:** mhm

**sure jan:** damn

**sure jan:** y’all okay?

**lo:** i mapped out the perfect timeline for a movie marathon and he’s  _ late and we’re behind schedule _

**roro:** literally climbing the stairs now

**roro:** how on earth did we manage to get a dorm on the fourth floor????

**virgy virge:** ???? elevator???

**roro:** only for handicapped people, which is amazing, but my legs are noodles

**roro:** on the upside, though, my calves look amazing

**lo:** _roman_

**roro:** oh yeah lol

**raccoon:** ???? don’t you guys have homework to do?????

**lo:** bold of you to assume i haven’t already done it

**roro:** yeah, for some reason, i’m better at time management the more i hang out with logan

**lo:** oh god, i’m contagious 

**virgy virge:** man, i’m already sick of college and we’re only like, two months into it

**raccoon:** honestly retweet

**roro:** idk, i think it’s kinda fun

**sure jan:** you’re only saying that because you have access to your boyfriend and raunchy stuff 24/7

**roro:** nah, it’s also the social environment

**raccoon:** notice how he didn’t deny it lol

**roro:** that was for a reason

**lo:** k, i’m starting without you

**roro:** BITCH

**roro:** we’re breaking up

**lo:** no

**roro:** ugh fine

**roro:** jkjk i love you

**lo:** me too, dw

**raccoon:** ew, fucking losers

**lo:** ouch

  
  


* * *

  
  


**roro** to  **sunflower seeds**

**roro:** it’s a long weekend, right?

**roro:** if so, we should all hang out

**virgy virge:** oh god,  _ please _

**virgy virge:** i need the chaos

**patpat:** i miss you guys :(((

**raccoon:** yeah, we haven’t talked in like, forever

**lo:** you know we could always do group facetimes, right?

**sure jan:** yeah, but what’s the fun in that??

**lo:** fair enough i guess

  
  


* * *

  
  


“How do we always end up here?” Janus fell back on Patton’s bed. “You know, in our house?”

Patton shrugged. “Cause we have decent parents and no siblings.”

“Remy  _ is _ a bitch,” Virgil nodded. 

“Where are the other gays?” Janus asked.

“They’re pretty close I think. Roman just had to drop by our house,” Remus answered. “Can I kick off my shoes?”

Virgil cringed. “Absolutely not.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


**roro** to  **sunflower seeds**

**roro:** we’re running a little behind schedule

**lo:** yeah,  _ somebody _ had to forget all of their clothes at our dorm

**lo:** we had to stop by the mall because target wasn’t enough

**roro:** oh, yeah, sorry for being so focused on other things

**lo:** _you spent an hour packing fucking toiletries for a two day vacation_

**roro:** _we can’t all be naturally beautiful_

**lo:** oh

**raccoon:** are y’all done?

**lo:** yeah, sorry

**patpat:** ???? are you texting while driving????

**roro:** nah, we’re in urban outfitters rn

**sure jan:** bouche ass bitch

**roro:** what can i say, i have taste

**lo:** no, he’s buying the most basic shirts that you could buy at like, fucking walmart

**roro:** i mean, we could just go to hot topic or some shit, but i feel like that’s infringing on virgil’s aesthetic

**virgy virge:** damn right it is

**raccoon:** ahem

**virgy virge:** fine

**virgy virge:** remus and me

**sure jan:** ?????

**virgy virge:** ugh

**virgy virge:** janus, remus, and me

**sure jan:** thank you

  
**raccoon:** finally we get the recognition we deserve lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> old married logince fighting over the remote vibes
> 
> also, the "dark sides" all shop at hot topic, fucking @ me


	5. narc narc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do i talk so much about phineas and ferb in these lol
> 
> fun fact- i'm not really allowed to be typing a lot bc my tendinitis fucking hates me but whatever

**Private Message**

**sure jan** to  **virgy virge**

**sure jan:** yknow, since we’re in town, you wanna go to the record shop?

**sure jan:** we can pick up some stuff that your roommate might like

**virgy virge:** sure lol

**virgy virge:** honestly, better date idea than most

**sure jan:** yeah, nice restaurants aren’t really our thing and thank god for it

**sure jan:** we’re officially broke college students, we can’t afford that stuff

**virgy virge:** but we’ll spend our money on an outdated music source?

**sure jan:** i mean yeah

**virgy virge:** hell yeah we will

**virgy virge:** man, i just kinda want to stay like this

**sure jan:** ?

**virgy virge:** like, i wish we could go back to high school again and be able to hang out all the time and see each other more than once in a blue moon

**sure jan:** yeah, i missed this

**virgy virge:** i’m just tired of having to move everything around a schedule and how we can’t see each other more than over facetime

**virgy virge:** god, i’ve just  _ missed _ you

**sure jan:** me too, darling

**sure jan:** i miss bugging you in every class we had together

**sure jan:** i miss being able to actually hug and cuddle with you

**virgy virge:** yeah, i can tell i’m a little touch starved

**virgy virge:** honestly, i feel bad for patton and remus

**virgy virge:** they’re three hours away from each other and i’m complaining about being twenty minutes away

**sure jan:** you’re allowed to be upset, virge

**sure jan:** don’t feel guilty for feeling a certain way

**virgy virge:** i know, i just think it’s absurd that i’m acting like this when they have it so much worse

**sure jan:** don’t do that to yourself, virgil

**sure jan:** don’t undermine how you feel through comparing yourself to others

**sure jan:** if i did it, you’d beat my ass, so i won’t hesitate to do the same

**virgy virge:** dude, stop making me emotional, this isn’t sexy

**sure jan:** there’s my virgil

**virgy virge:** oh my god, shut up

  
  


* * *

  
  


**roro** to  **sunflower seeds**

**roro:** man, we have to go back to school tomorrow :/

**virgy virge:** ugh don’t remind me

**virgy virge:** my crappy roommate probably doesn’t miss me, though

**patpat:** you guys are so far away and i hate it :(

**lo:** i can’t believe i’m saying this, but i hate school and i don’t want it

**lo:** this sucks

**sure jan:** and the narc snaps

**lo:** ???? why am i a narc????

**sure jan:** idk, anyone who’s smart and has good grades i don’t trust

**sure jan:** it’s like people who go on carnival cruises

**sure jan:** if you go on a carnival cruise,  _ don’t talk to me _

**raccoon:** ??? you good???

**sure jan:** i just don’t know anyone who would willingly go on a cruise

**raccoon:** remember that one alvin and the chipmunks movie where they went on a cruise

**raccoon:** also, the fact that matthew gray gubler was simon in those movies was so funny

**roro:** god, i hated those movies

**raccoon:** ???? how dare???

**roro:** dude, you made me watch them all the time and i hated them

**lo:** i’m glad i wasn’t really allowed to watch those kind of movies

**virgy virge:** dude, what were you allowed to watch when you were little???

**lo:** little einsteins, phineas and ferb (no, i don’t get it either), just a lot of pbs

**raccoon:** that’s,,,, a really weird assortment of shows

**lo:** i know, i really don’t get it

**lo:** i was highly encouraged to watch exclusively informative shows, but for some reason, phineas and ferb was fine

**lo:** i think because it wasn’t a mindless formulaic show, but i don’t really know

**lo:** like, i was  _ not _ allowed to watch spongebob and honestly, i’m glad

**lo:** that show was so annoying

**patpat:** BLASPHEMY

**lo:** sue me, i don’t care

**lo:** wait, don’t do that, i have no money

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man, i'm out of shit to put here
> 
> also, if y'all want to see anything in here, tell me, i'm running low on ideas


	6. peaking in high school

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long, i had to design shirts for band bc i'm the only one who knows how design works

**lo** to  **sunflower seeds**

**lo:** man, i miss high school

**roro:** _please_ don’t become one of those guys who constantly misses high school and peaked there

**lo:** dw, i’m not a high school quarterback

**raccoon:** oh damn

**virgy virge:** man, we’re just throwing shade today, huh?

**lo:** i mean, why not?

**lo:** it’s not like we have anything better to do lol

**virgy virge:** honestly fair

**lo:** we’re just sitting in our dorms all day and occasionally going to class

**lo:** i’m bored ninety percent of the time

**lo:** i’ve watched  _ so _ much doctor who

**virgy virge:** yeah, this is kinda sus

**sure jan:** god, i hate you

**virgy virge:** yeah lol

**raccoon:** rip

**patpat:** someone entertain me, i’m done with work and i’m bored

**raccoon:** ???? you got a job????

**patpat:** yeah, i’m working at wendy’s and it’s boring

**sure jan:** i got a job at mod pizza but i guess nobody cares

**virgy virge:** you got a discount?

**sure jan:** yeah?

**virgy virge:** well now i care

**sure jan:** wow, thanks, that means a lot

**roro:** when in fact, it didn’t mean a lot

**sure jan:** shut up, roman

**roro:** hmmmm, no

**sure jan:** ouch

  
  


* * *

  
  


**roro** to  **sunflower seeds**

**roro:** so

**roro:** how are y’all?

**lo:** ugh

**lo:** i’m in my english class and i hate it

**lo:** can it just????? not be so fluid?????

**lo:** i want a set answer, not something that can be interpreted

**lo:** i guess there’s a reason i’m in the stem field 

**virgy virge:** honestly, i prefer english cause i can fake it till i make it

**roro:** same lol

**sure jan:** i think i just hate everything

**virgy virge:** _dude_

**virgy virge:** me too

**patpat:** yeah, school’s not nearly as fun, i guess

**raccoon:** man, y’all are depressing today

**virgy virge:** dude, i’m depressing all the time

**raccoon:** yeah, no duh

**lo:** honestly, our lives are just depressing in general

**patpat:** nah, i’m good, i’m just depressed but my life’s pretty great

**lo:** i’m not depressed, but my life is

**patpat:** you know, put together, we’re either a super depressed person or a normal person

**lo:** yeah, i suppose

**lo:** but what defines a normal person?

**sure jan:** someone who doesn’t cry every twenty seconds

**roro:** i feel like that’s a direct hit at me

**lo:** yeah, probably

**sure jan:** yeah, it was

**roro:** i’m glad to know i’m loved

**patpat:** i love you roman!!!!!

**roro:** i love you too!!!!!

**virgy virge:** ew

**sure jan:** honestly, disgusting

**patpat:** why y’all gotta be so rude?

**sure jan:** it’s what we’re best at

**virgy virge:** we’re cynical people

**lo:** you’re a jerk, don’t say fancy words to cover it up

**virgy virge:** yeah lol

**roro:** we’re all cynical depressed kids

**sure jan:** you know, we’re technically not kids anymore

**roro:** please shut up, i don’t want to think about that

**lo:** yeah, we’re eighteen, leave us alone

**sure jan:** no.

**lo:** uh

**lo:** okay?

**patpat:** be nice, children

**sure jan:** patton, i’m older than you, don’t tell me what to do

**patpat:** sixteen minutes >:(

**sure jan:** yeah, whatever, still older

**roro:** man, imagine being a younger sibling

**virgy virge:** could  _ never _ be me

**raccoon:** i must have alzheimer’s because i????? don’t remember asking????

**virgy virge:** ouch

**virgy virge:** i straight up didn’t ask for this

**raccoon:** it comes with the package, sweetie

**virgy virge:** k, don’t ever call me sweetie ever again

**raccoon:** no <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i now officially have all of lana del rey's albums and i love it so much, like she's been one of my favorite artists for so long and it's just,,,,, screaming
> 
> also comments give me validation like nothing else, y'all are the best


	7. man, i don't fucking know, just do your homework, kids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one of these days i’m gonna reach the character limit on the chapter title and honestly, i can't wait
> 
> also, huge shoutout to all of y'all who have stuck through with me til rn, i really appreciate it

**sure jan** to  **sunflower seeds**

**sure jan:** i’m really bored

**sure jan:** please entertain me

**virgy virge:** you wanna come over to my dorm?

**sure jan:** dude, you have a class in like, twenty minutes

**virgy virge:** dude, my professor doesn’t care about attendance as long as we get our stuff done

**lo:** see, that’s what i like about college

**lo:** i already know most of the shut that we cover in class so i just go in there, do my homework, not pay attention to the lecture, and pass the class

**lo:** i’m living my best life

**patpat:** well i’m glad someone is

**patpat:** my professors are super strict about attendance and have ridiculous due dates and i don’t think they realize that all college students are depressed

**roro:** rip

**sure jan:** this isn’t nearly as entertaining as it needs to be for me

**lo:** ???? what do you want us to do about it????

**sure jan:** ???? be interesting?????

**raccoon:** oh oh oh, i finally have a teacher that likes me!!!!

**virgy virge:** oh shit, really?

**raccoon:** yeah, my art teacher thinks i have a “creative” mind

**raccoon:** she said it’s a nice change of pace from the losers that are in my class

**lo:** she said that?

**raccoon:** nah, she didn’t call them losers, just that i was cool

**roro:** wow, i don’t think anyone’s ever said that

**raccoon:** ????? ouch????

**roro:** suck it, loser

**virgy virge:** wait, why are we bullying remus?

**roro:** idk, it was easy

**roro:** kick them while they’re down, they don’t fight back

**patpat:** jesus, that’s a little morbid

  
  


* * *

  
  


**roro** to  **sunflower seeds**

**roro:** logan and i are watching something super boring thing, someone distract me

**lo:** okay, how the FUCK is david attenborough boring???

**roro:** oh, i’m sorry that i don’t have a thing for his voice, sorry that i’m a normal human being

**lo:** you literally said that it was my turn to pick

**roro:** i didn’t mean a boring ass documentary????

**lo:** you BITCH TAKE THAT BACK

**roro:** _NO, I STAND BY WHAT I SAID_

**patpat:** glad to see that you two are doing well together

**raccoon:** wtf is going on

**virgy virge:** idk, i’m just watching it all go down

**sure jan:** this is much more entertaining than my roommate rn

**virgy virge:** oh yeah

**virgy virge:** how’s that going?

**sure jan:** oh, he’s fine i guess

**virgy virge:** what’s his name?

**sure jan:**

**sure jan:** i actually have no idea

**raccoon:** DUDE

**raccoon:** IT’S BEEN LIKE, A MONTH, HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW HIS NAME????

**sure jan:** idk, all i know is that his favorite color is orange

**lo:** disaster

**sure jan:** yeah, i know, it’s an issue

**raccoon:** meanwhile, the housing people have stopped sending me roommates

**roro:** oh rip

**raccoon:** i mean, were you really expecting anything else???

**roro:** yeah, you’re kinda right

**raccoon:** pat, virge, how are y’all doing on roommate stuff?

**patpat:** uhhh my roommate dropped out so i don’t have a roommate anymore

**virgy virge:** he’s kind of a jerk

**virgy virge:** he’s a business major and kinda homophobic

**raccoon:** oh yikes

**virgy virge:** yeah, it’s fine, we don’t interact at all bc he’s convinced that i’m gonna make a move and then i said that his american eagle wardrobe doesn’t exactly rock my world and now we don’t talk

**sure jan:** god, you’re my favorite person ever

**virgy virge:** you’ve enhanced my pettiness and i love you for it

**roro:** y’all are so weird

**sure jan:** duh

**sure jan:** it’s kind of what we’re going for

**virgy virge:** heck yeah we are

**roro:** i mean i guess

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Private Message**

**lo** to  **roro**

**lo:** please get back soon

**roro:** ???? you okay???

**lo:** no

**lo:** my body is being a child and cutting off oxygen from my uterus and i’m mad

**roro:** ???

**lo:** i’m cramping bad and i need someone to complain to

**roro:** yeah, i get it

**lo:** god, you’re the best

**roro:** oh, i know

**lo:** no you don’t

**lo:** you’re the most insecure person in the world

**roro:** okay, WOW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love seeing all the comments from people coming over from the gatsby book and it's like, the highlight of my day


	8. ugh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back on my bullshit
> 
> if y'all have requests on what you'd like to see, comment bc brain machine broke
> 
> a new player has entered the game!  
> nyquil- remy

**hot dog water** to  **sunflower seeds**

**hot dog water:** mega sad :(

**patpat:** _??????_

**hot dog water:** i formatted one of my assignments for art history wrong and i got an f on it

**roro:** oof

**virgy virge:** i hate professors that make us format it differently than the other teachers

**sure jan:** yeah, that’s kinda tough

**lo:** i have no advice for you, sorry

**hot dog water:** nah, it’s all good, dw

**roro:** dude, i’m tired of everything and anything

**roro:** i got an eighty on my last test in music theory and i’m so mad

**virgy virge:** how is that a bad grade????

**roro:** i stayed up all night studying and drank three cups of coffee for it

**lo:** actually, like i told you earlier, staying up all night isn’t good for you

**lo:** if you try and cram the night before a test, it might make your scores lower than if you’d gotten a good night’s sleep

**roro:** ugh, i hate when you’re right

**lo:** when am i not?

**roro:** i care about my wellbeing so i’m not going to answer that

**patpat:** ro, you just signed your own death warrant by saying that

**roro:** i know and i accept that

**lo:** not right away, i’ll make you wait for it

**roro:** what, like a blindfold type situation?

**raccoon:** ooh, fun ;)

**lo:** *retches*

**lo:** absolutely not

**raccoon:** i mean, it’s none of my business, but y’all are being nasty in the sheets, huh

**roro:** god, i hate your guts

**raccoon:** :(

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Private Message**

**nyquil** to  **virgy virge**

**nyquil:** heyyyyyy

**virgy virge:** oh god

**virgy virge:** i don’t associate with people still in high school

**nyquil:** shut up loser

**nyquil:** anyways

**nyquil:** i need to rant about my  _ beautiful _ boyfriend or else i’m gonna explode

**virgy virge:** remy, i have class in like, thirty minutes

**nyquil:** i’ve seen your attendance rate, i know you’re not gonna go

**virgy virge:** ouch

**nyquil:** anyways, it’s my turn to talk

**virgy virge:** fine

**nyquil:** so he’s like, the best person and i love him

**nyquil:** like, thomas is so sweet and i feel like an actual human being around him

**virgy virge:** wow, are you actually nice now??

**nyquil:** shut up

**virgy virge:** yeah, whatever

**nyquil:** when are you coming home?

**virgy virge:** honestly, i don’t know

**virgy virge:** i’m hoping next weekend, but i kind of have a lot of work

**nyquil:** ugh

**nyquil:** it’s boring without you

**virgy virge:** ???? you have friends????

**nyquil:** yeah, i know, i’m allowed to miss my older brother, though

**virgy virge:** awwwwww

**virgy virge:** remington belmonte, are you getting soft on me?

**nyquil:** shut up, freak

**nyquil:** i’ll stab your boyfriend

**virgy virge:** nah, you used to have a crush on him, you wouldn’t kill him

**nyquil:** try me

  
  


* * *

  
  


**sure jan** to  **sunflower seeds**

**sure jan:** why am i getting death threats???

**virgy virge:** oh god, yeah, that’s my fault

**sure jan:** ?????

**virgy virge:** i was antagonizing remy and he decided to take it out on you by wanting to stab you

**sure jan:** your family is crazy

**lo:** honestly

**virgy virge:** k, we’re not that bad

**sure jan:** _death threats_

**virgy virge:** okay, yeah, i admit that sounds bad

**sure jan:** yeah, it does

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no thoughts, head empty


	9. big oof, my guy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so short, my brain has no ideas lol
> 
> also, remus's name is hot dog water

**hot dog water** to  **sunflower seeds**

**hot dog water:** someone stop me

**virgy virge:** stop?

**hot dog water:** no

**virgy virge:** ???? then why’d you ask???

**hot dog water:** idk, i just thought that maybe someone would inspire me to not be dumb

**virgy virge:** wait what are you planning to do??

**hot dog water:** dropping out

**virgy virge:** hey??? maybe don’t do that????

**hot dog water:** don’t tell me what to do, dad

**patpat:** don’t drop out :(

**hot dog water:** ugh fine

**virgy virge:** is that really all it takes????

**hot dog water:** yeah lol

**patpat:** i’m most of his impulse control

**roro:** bold of you to assume remus has any impulse control

**hot dog water:** honestly fair

**hot dog water:** i used to have really bad insecurities but i just started acting like i didn’t care about anything but eventually i actually didn’t care

**sure jan:** lmao nice

**lo:** why yes, professor, i couldn’t finish my homework because my friends are absolute jerks and i hate them

**hot dog water:** lmao whoops

**virgy virge:** i’d say that i’m sorry but i don’t really think i am

**lo:** wow, thanks virge

**virgy virge:** np, dude

  
  


* * *

  
  


**sure jan** to  **sunflower seeds**

**sure jan:** yknow, i can’t remember why our group chat’s name is this

**roro:** honestly, i don’t think i ever really knew

**patpat:** literally same

**hot dog water:** i think it was from when we went on that road trip

**virgy virge:** man, we should go on another one of those

**lo:** god, i’m not ready for that 

**sure jan:** honestly yeah

**sure jan:** that was too much

**lo:** to be fair, we were kind of all stressed at the time

**virgy virge:** honestly retweet

**sure jan:** virgil i stg

**virgy virge:** yeah, yeah, i’m almost there, parking was a bith

**hot dog water:** ooooooh, are you guys gonna go on a date?

**sure jan:** yeah lol

**virgy virge:** what about it?

**hot dog water:** nah, dw dw, i don’t really care

**virgy virge:** oh thank god, i can’t take criticism rn

**patpat:** _same_

**sure jan:** oh god, the depressed people are at it again

**virgy virge:** nah, i’m not depressed, i just have anxiety

**virgy virge:** like, i’m nervous about people judging me but i know i’m hot and don’t hate myself

**hot dog water:** honestly good for you

**lo:** someone help these people

**hot dog water:** i’m on it

**lo:** _wait no not you_

**hot dog water:** oh, it’s too late for that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate band but ugh, you know?
> 
> please do suggestions, brain is empty and author is dumbass


	10. english major

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've applied to the college that i really want to go to and i'm just waiting and it's killing me

**hot dog water** to  **sunflower seeds**

**hot dog water:** bored bored bored

**virgy virge:** _same_

**patpat:** virge, you’re in class rn

**virgy virge:** you think i want to pay attention???? 

**virgy virge:** because i don’t, i hate math and hope it dies

**roro:** hsdjfkj  _ same _

**sure jan:** oh my god, shut up, some of us have stuff to do

**sure jan:** why did i decide to do psych????

**sure jan:** i lack the emotional stability to do this

**virgy virge:** bro, me too

**sure jan:** says the  _ english _ major

**virgy virge:** dude

**virgy virge:** it’s not a competition, we’re all suffering in our own ways

**sure jan:** yeah, i’m just looking to complain though

**sure jan:** what really peeves me about people is that some people try and help with my issues when i’m just lookin to rant

**sure jan:** like, i’m not looking for help, i’m trying to be mad

**virgy virge:** askldfj  _ dude _

**virgy virge:** what a mood

**raccoon:** i don’t get mad, i just like to complain a lot

**roro:** i mean, we all love to do that

**patpat:** why are we all mad?

**lo:** honestly idk

**lo:** i’m just watching them babble on

**roro:** ouch

**raccoon:** i would be hurt but honestly yeah, it’s pretty accurate

**lo:** lmao sorry

  
  


* * *

  
  


**lo** to  **eat azz daily**

**lo:** we haven’t used this chat in forever

**raccoon:** well, yeah, we’re not all in the same english class anymore

**sure jan:** ugh i miss that

**virgy virge:** dude, yeah, i miss our antics

**lo:** god, i never got anything done in that class

**lo:** remus just kicked the back of my seat the entire time and i hate him

**raccoon:** hehe you’re welcome

**sure jan:** i miss high school

**sure jan:** i miss seeing y’all every day

**lo:** honestly yeah

**raccoon:** concept- we all work at the same place so we can see each other every day

**lo:** no, i refuse to work in the same building as you guys

**sure jan:** yeah, i think i’d go insane

**raccoon:** wow, rude

**sure jan:** no, i mean  _ all _ of you

**sure jan:** i think i’d rather die bc you all are the worst

**virgy virge:** honestly yeah

**lo:** i’d like to think that i’m at least tolerable

**virgy virge:** uh

**lo:** okay, ouch

**virgy virge:** lmao whoops

  
  


* * *

  
  


Virgil was woken up by his phone ringing and he groaned. He looked at the caller I.D. and growled when he saw that it was from Remy.

“What?” He snapped.

“Hey, big bro,” He could hear Remy smirking on the other side. “I’m doing a fundraiser for K-”

“Oh my god, I’m hanging up.”

“Wait, no,” Remy stopped him. “We’re supposed to be calling for fundraiser stuff but I really don’t feel like asking our relatives, so I just decided to call you.”

Virgil sat up. “Why me?”

“I don’t know, we just haven’t talked in a while,” He sighed. “Besides, I’m in the mood to bug you.”

“Did you have to do it at eight in the morning, though?”

Remy snorted. “Because that’s when I’m in band, dumsss.”

“Oh yeah.”

“Virgil, shut up,” His roommate groaned from the other side of the room. 

“Sorry, Nate,” Virgil said before dropping his voice to a whisper. “So, what’s going on at home, Rem?”

“Just the usual. Thomas made a new friend and he seems chill, I guess.”

“Wow, I’m surprised that you’re not jealous or anything,” He teased.

Remy scoffed. “My boyfriend and I are fine, thank you very much.”

“Mhm, yeah, sure,” Virgil snickered. 

“You’re such a jerk.”

“Yeah, I know,” He grinned. “By the way, I’m coming home next weekend, so watch out for that.”

Remy snorted. “Yeah, I know, Mom told me.”

“Oh.” Virgil frowned. “Well, make sure that all of your stuff is out of my room, I didn’t like how that went last time.”

He groaned. “Fine, whatever.”

“Bye, Rem.”

“Bye, Virge.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


**lo** to  **sunflower seeds**

**lo:** youyououiouaoieflajlsdfj

**lo:** wait, sorry, i dropped my phone as i was trying to type

**raccoon:** yeah, but how on earth did you type that out

**lo:** honestly idk

**roro:** why did you drop it down the stairs???

**lo:** well i was holding it when i fell down, so it just kind of happened

**roro:**

**roro:** _you fell down the stairs????_

**lo:** yeah lol

**roro:** are you good???

**lo:** probably not lol

**lo:** i can’t really move my arm without it hurting so i’m just in the stairwell

**virgy virge:** dude, i think you may have broken your arm

**lo:** nah, i’m good

**roro:** oh my god

**roro:** where are you?

**lo:** the stairwell

**roro:**

**roro:** _which one???_

**lo:** the dorm one

**lo:** the elevator was full so i was like, okay

**roro:** okay, i’m coming to get you

**lo:** nah, i’m fine

**roro:** shut it, i’m coming

**lo:** jeez, fine

  
  


* * *

  
  


**lo** to  **sunflower seeds**

**lo:** who wants to sign my cast?

**raccoon:** depends

**raccoon:** can i draw on it?

**lo:** pg drawings only

**raccoon:** rad

**lo:** pg by  _ my _ standards

**raccoon:** ugh, fine

**virgy virge:** i’ve perfected my signature, so yeah, i’ll do it

**patpat:** !!! i’ll do a drawing too!!!

**patpat:** i’m not very good, but i’ll try!

**lo:** nice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suggestions suggestions suggestions


	11. rancid vibes, man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking so long lol, i was a little tied up with mental health problems and couldn't function for a couple of days

**roro** to  **sunflower seeds**

**roro:** like straight up,,,,, what if i just moved to new york, worked at starbucks and fulfilled my gay dreams?

**raccoon:** idk, lo, would you go with him?

**lo:** no lol

**virgy virge:** jesus, okay, we’re really doing this

**roro:** lmao i’m not dragging him with me, logan’s got his own stuff to do

**roro:** i have my own stupid escapades to explore

**raccoon:** lord knows that

**virgy virge:** i hate being an english major

**virgy virge:** i have to read stuff???? disgusting, i hate it

**sure jan:**

**sure jan:** i can’t tell if your joking or not

**sure jan:** i hope to god you are

**sure jan:** because all english majors do is read lol

**virgy virge:** yeah, ik

**virgy virge:** everyone is so lame in the english department

**sure jan:** lmao rip

**patpat:** speak for yourself, everyone in sociology is awesome

**sure jan:** my psychology classes are a mix of white girls and people who desperately need to see a therapist

**raccoon:** duh

**raccoon:** why do you think they’re taking the classes

**sure jan:** and they’re always the same kind of white girl

**sure jan:** no shade, but i’m beginning to hate the smell of starbucks

**virgy virge:** ???

**sure jan:** yeah, my study group always insists on meeting at starbucks and i need variety in my life

**raccoon:** just meet up at waffle house lol

**sure jan:** no, i’d like to keep my sanity and health intact

**sure jan:** i always feel like i’m covered in syrup after going there

**lo:** yeah, it’s not great, but the hashbrowns are amazing

**raccoon:** god, go try the hashbrowns, they’re life changing

**roro:** how do we always end up talking about food?

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


**lo** to  **sunflower seeds**

**lo:** i’m having to take education classes and it sucks

**raccoon:** what’s an education class lol

**lo:** administration doesn’t understand that i’d rather die than teach elementary schools

**lo:** i’m absolutely TERRIFIED of children lol

**virgy virge:** bro  _ same _

**virgy virge:** they’re creepy and gross

**virgy virge:** like, only remus is allowed to pick his nose, i don’t like seeing anyone else do that

**raccoon:** thanks uwu

**patpat:** but they’re nice!

**sure jan:** dude, they like to comment on my face and i don’t like it

**lo:** i just hate dumbing things down for them

**roro:** dude, you had to do that every time you tutored us lol

**lo:** yeah, but y’all are justified so it’s fine

**virgy virge:** how are we justified??

**lo:** because i’ve seen your minds, you need help

**raccoon:** in more ways than one lol

**sure jan:** honestly

**lo:** just go to therapy oh my god

**raccoon:** don’t tell me what to do, dad

  
  


* * *

  
  


**patpat** to  **sunflower seeds**

**patpat:** i’m so tired

**patpat:** everything sucks rn

**sure jan:** you good dude?

**patpat:** lmao no

**patpat:** people are the worst

**patpat:** there’s this guy in one of my classes and he’s v uncomfortable to be around

**raccoon:** ????

**patpat:** he just flirts with me a lot and i’m def not a fan

**patpat:** i keep saying hey i have a partner

**patpat:** but he’s like nah

**raccoon:** bruh

**raccoon:** what a dilweed

**lo:** ????

**lo:** why that word???

**raccoon:** idk, i’m simply trying to vibe

**raccoon:** plus i’m angry and can’t think of a decent insult

**raccoon:** i’m very mad

**patpat:** it’s really fine, it’s just annoying af

**raccoon:** i’m sorry :(

**patpat:** it’s all good, ree, i’m trying to vibe but the vibes are rancid lol

**raccoon:** same lmao

**sure jan:** get help, hoes

**raccoon:** nah, i’m good, dw

**sure jan:** see, this is why i don’t make friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet


	12. spicy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> logince is just my favorite ship in the world and i miss them :(
> 
> i'm gonna try and upload more consistently but no promises

Roman groaned, falling face-first on his bed and Logan looked up from his laptop.

“You okay?” Logan raised an eyebrow.

“No,” His reply was muffled. “I’m so bored of school.”

Logan sighed. “Roman, you signed up for this.”

“I know, I know,” He sighed. “I’m just tired of all of this. Plus, your cast digs into my chest whenever I sleep with you.”

He frowned. “What am I supposed to do about it? Unbreak my arm?”

“Yeah, don’t be so selfish, Lo,” Roman grinned over at him. “It’s not like you took four years of EMT training to fix it.”

“It was high school, Roman,” Logan rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t exactly focused on being good at it, I was just memorizing information.”

He gasped. “Are you telling me that Logan Bishop didn’t practice the proper studying techniques?”

Logan snorted. “God, no. I just learned the best way to get high grades.”

“Do you wanna go to the Grand Canyon?” Roman asked after a moment of silence.

He nearly choked. “Excuse me?”

“Yeah, let’s pull a Canyon Moon by Harry Styles and go on a road trip,” Roman smiled at him.”I’ll email our professors and get gas for my car.”

“Roman, I hope you know that you sound absolutely ridiculous when you suggest that we leave for a place that is about eighteen hours away.”

He groaned. “Darling, you’re absolutely no fun.”

“It’s why you love me,” Logan turned back to his laptop, wincing as he flexed his fingers.

“You know, the nurse said that if your fingers hurt, you should see a doctor,” Roman pointed out but the other fixed him with a glare. “Don’t give me that look, Lo, you know I’m right.”

“There’s a reason that they call college students broke, right?”

“You say that like you don’t know that I’m a trust fund baby,” Roman deadpanned.

“I’m not getting it checked out, Roman.”

“Then I’ll simply have to kidnap you,” He sighed and shut Logan’s laptop.

“What?” Logan tried to grab it back, but Roman kept a firm grip on it, shaking his head. “Roman, give that back.”

“Not until you get in my car,” He pulled Logan up and paused. “Well, not in that way.”

“And on that note,” Logan yanked his laptop out of Roman’s arms and sat back down. 

“Logan, no.” He yanked it back.

“Roman, yes.” Yank.

“Logan.” Yank.

“Roman.”

“Logan, so help me God, if you don’t give me back that laptop, I will break your other arm,” Roman growled.

“I could get you arrested for domestic abuse.” Logan glared, yanking back his laptop a little too hard, sending them both to the floor, Logan on his back and Roman braced above him.

“Try me.” Roman’s hot breath fanned across his face. They laid there for a moment before Roman leaned down and kissed him deeply. Logan moved his lips against his experimentally and he tried to roll them over but Roman held him fast, pulling back. “Go to the doctor.” He whispered against his lips, snickering to himself as Logan whined. He tried to lean up and capture his lips again, but Roman held him in place. “Go to the doctor and we can finish this.”

Logan huffed. “You’re such a dick.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


**raccoon** to  **sunflower seeds**

**raccoon:** so how do you think the gays are doing with living together in a cramped dorm?

**virgy virge:** they’re probably a few days away from breaking up with each other

**lo:** it came very close today

**roro:** all i was trying to do was get you to go to the doctor because your arm was hurting again

**lo:** i told you i was doing fine, my fingers just hurt

**roro:** ????? the nurse literally told you that if that happened, you should go back to the doctor to check it out????

**lo:** i was fucking fine!

**roro:** literally no you weren’t!!

**roro:** we had to go get it re-set again, how was that fine????

**virgy virge:** k, i literally don’t have time for this, go solve your problems somewhere else

**roro:** fuck off, virge, we’re trying to do shit

**virgy virge:** ????

**patpat:** yeah, be nice, ro

**roro:** no and you can’t make me

**patpat:** yes i absolutely can

**roro:** okay

**roro:** i don’t know what that means and i’m a little scared to find out, so we’re just going to ignore that

**sure jan:** i’m fine with that, i don’t fully know what’s happening

**raccoon:** me neither lol

**raccoon:** btw i’m bored as heck

**raccoon:** someone please entertain me

**virgy virge:** ????? was that not entertaining enough for you????

**raccoon:** nah, not really

**roro:** i’m so glad that we’re just glossing over the fact that logan refuses to take care of himself

**patpat:** yeah, so glad

**patpat:** i’’m this close to driving to y’all and beating logan up

**lo:** uh

**lo:** i literally got it fixed, i think i’m okay

**patpat:** i will hurt you with love

**lo:** oh god no, i hate affection

**raccoon:** then why did you decide to get with the most romantic loser ever????

**lo:** bc i love him and he’s hot

**roro:** yeah, i am pretty hot

**lo:** yeah, you are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't be like logan, go to the doctor if something is wrong
> 
> i'm kind of thinking about ending this soon, i think i'm probably being annoying with this and idk, i feel like no one's really keeping up anymore 
> 
> i just feel super defeated rn


	13. what the fuck is this ship name supposed to be HELP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have DONE IT FOLKS
> 
> thomas's username isn't in this but for future references, it's thomathy  
> remy- sunglasses  
> nico (SCREAMING)- karrots  
> the group chat is all three of them

**sunglasses** to  **virgy virge**

**sunglasses:** call me

**sunglasses:** call me now call me now

**virgy virge:** you good, little bro???

**sunglasses:** just call me, virge

**virgy virge:** hold on

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Rem, what’s wrong?” Virgil shrugged on his jacket and grabbed his keys. “I’m heading to my car, do I need to come home? Is something wrong with Mom or Dad, what’s going on-”

“No, you don’t need to come home,” Remy’s voice was uncharacteristically quiet. “I’m just freaking out right now.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I think I’m in love,” Remy blurted out.

“Um, okay,” Virgil frowned. “Thomas probably thinks the same thing or whatever.”

“No,” He sighed. “It’s a little more complicated than that.”

“Lay it on me, kid.”

“So, I still really like Thomas, right? But he met this kid a couple of months ago and he kind of joined our friend group and he’s really pretty and nice and I don’t know what to do,” Remy whined. “But I still really like Thomas but I can’t have two crushes cause that’ weird.”

“Oh,” Virgil blinked. “Rem, are you poly?”

“Virge, I think we both know how painfully white we are.”

“No, no,” Virgil laughed. “You love Thomas in a romantic way but you have a crush on this other guy?”

“Yeah, so what?”

“Dude, I think you might be polyamorous.”

There was a beat of silence before Remy spoke again. “I’m going to be completely honest with you and say that I have no fucking clue what that means.”

“It’s kind of when you like multiple people in a romantic way.”

“But isn’t that kind of cheating?”

“God, I don’t know how to describe it.” He groaned. “But not really. Only if you decide to go behind your partner’s back and don’t communicate with them. Cheating on your partner is not being polyamorous, you’re just an asshole.”

“Do you think Thomas’ll be mad at me?” 

“Nah, he seems like a chill dude,” Virgil grinned. “Plus, I’m your big brother, I’ll murder him if he’s not careful.”

Remy groaned. “God, please don’t ever interfere with my love life.”

“Dude, you were literally the one who asked me shit!” Virgil protested.

“Virgil, shut up,” Nate hissed at him from under his covers. 

“Sorry, my roommate’s being a baby bitch,” Nate glared at him but Virgil just ignored him. “Is your gay panic over for now?”

“Is it really ever over?” Remy sighed dramatically. “But seriously, yeah, thanks, Virge.”

“No problem, baby bro.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Hey, Rem!” Thomas smiled brightly and sat down across from him. His face fell. “You don’t have coffee, what’s wrong?”

Remy gave a nervous laugh. “I’m fine, don’t worry. I just need to talk to you about something.”

Thomas reeled back. “Are you breaking up with me?”

“Oh god, no,” Remy shook his head. “I just need to be clear with you.”

“What’s up?”

Remy sighed. “I have a crush on someone.” Thomas’s expression was unreadable and Remy’s heart froze. “Wait, that sounds really bad, I still really like you and want to be with you but I like someone and I’m freaking out.”

Thomas was silent for a moment before he spoke. “Is it Nico?”

“What?”

“Do you like Nico?”

“Y-yeah, why?”

Thomas’s face split into a grin. “You know, I like him too.”

“What?” He frowned.

“Yeah, I was kind of wondering how to tell you for weeks now,” He gushed. “I wanted to tell you but I was scared because it was kind of weird that I liked both my boyfriend and my best friend and I thought that maybe you’d want to break up with me or something.”

“I literally thought the same thing,” Remy laughed. “I called my brother yesterday and was freaking out.”

“So where do we go from here?” Thomas asked.

“Hell if I know,” Remy snorted. “I don’t know how to ask someone out, you were the one who started this shit.”

Thomas shrugged. “Fair point.”

“Why is this so hard?” Remy groaned, letting his head drop to the table. “Should we just ask him?”

“I guess.”

“We can just text him or something, that’s how my brother and his boyfriend got together.”

He snorted. “That’s probably not a good idea.”

“You got a better plan?” Remy raised an eyebrow.

“I mean, no, but-” Thomas was cut off by Remy pulling out his phone. “Remington Belmonte, I swear to god, if you-”

“Send.” Remy gave a grin.

  
  


* * *

  
  


**sunglasses** to  **charlie’s angels**

**sunglasses:** hey, nico, thomas and i have a super big crush on you and we’d like to have your input on this

**karrots:** alksdfljk WHAT

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Private Message**

**sunglasses** to  **virgy virge**

**sunglasses:** guess who has another awesome boyfriend

**virgy virge:** lmao nice dude

**sunglasses:** see, it’s just another thing i’m better than you at

**virgy virge:** i???? didn’t ask for this????

  
**sunglasses:** too bad, hoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i like, love sleepmas but karrot kings are also rad and i knew that my brain wasn't going to compromise so i did this and the gays are disasters again
> 
> also, i wrote this as a way to distract myself from the disaster that's happening rn, so if you need a distraction, get off social media for a bit, do something else, hell, even read the gatsby series again if you'd like. remember, taking a break doesn't mean that you don't care, it just means that things are tough and you need a distraction. there's nothing wrong with that.


	14. i'm so sick of america

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate everything that's going on rn so here we are

**roro** to  **sunflower seeds**

**roro:** i just saw a trump sticker on a car and my day is ruined

**virgy virge:** *retches*

**sure jan:** i hate america

**sure jan:** can we just move to canada??

**roro:** PLEASE

**lo:** i’m not saying that we should kill the president,,,, but,,,,, theoretically

**lo:** if someone were to just hit him on the head just a  _ little _ too hard

**lo:** i wouldn’t complain

**raccoon:** i mean, i’m down

**raccoon:** i want to do it mission impossible style so i can make it on buzzfeed unsolved

**virgy virge:** for legal reasons, this is a joke

**virgy virge:** God Bless America

**virgy virge:** I Support Our President Trump And I’m Not Being Held At Gunpoint

**lo:** i hate this group chat

**lo:** but i hate trump even more

**lo:** like, i’m a little scared that i can’t get like, hormones or something bc he’s super transphobic and i don’t trust him with our healthcare

**patpat:** honestly fair

**lo:** i’m tired of this

**raccoon:** dude, just bonk him on the head

**lo:**

**lo:** how do i explain to him that that’s assassination and we’ll go to jail??

**roro:** he’s not going to get the concept, don’t bother

**lo:** i mean, okay

  
  


* * *

  
  


**lo** to  **sunflower seeds**

**lo:** how are people still trANSPHOBIC IT BAFFLES ME AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND-

**lo:** i’m having a bad day

**patpat:** sorry :(

**virgy virge:** my roommate says sorry

**lo:** ???

**virgy virge:** yeah, he likes the drama and stupidity of our friend group

**lo:** no, i meant that i had no clue that you have a roommate

**virgy virge:** oh, yeah, his name is nate and he’s pretty chill

**virgy virge:** he just doesn’t like lana del rey and it fucks with my vibes

**sure jan:** rip

**lo:** part of me is glad that i’m rooming with roman but the other part is tired of waking up at seven to beyonce

**roro:** she is a QUEEN and i LOVE her

**lo:** i do too, but i’m TIRED of hearing pARTITION, A SONG LITERALLY ABOUT HAVING SEX IN THE BACK OF A CAR EVERY MORNING I SWEAR TO GOD

**roro:** that’s IT we’re BREAKING UP

**sure jan:** so glad to see that y’all are surviving

**roro:** just barely

**lo:** i’m going insane

**sure jan:** at least you know who your roommate is

**sure jan:** i still have no idea what my roommate’s name is

**virgy virge:** dude

**virgy virge:** it’s been like, weeks since school has started

**sure jan:** and????

**sure jan:** i just call him dude all the time and hope that he doesn’t find out

**roro:** yikes

**roro:** that’s probably not good

**sure jan:** yeah, it’s whatever

**lo:** you could probably ask someone???

**sure jan:** i don’t really want to talk to anyone, so nah

**virgy virge:** k, apparently i’ve rubbed off on you

**sure jan:** not in a long time

**virgy virge:** yeah, an unfortunate amount of time

**roro:** please shut up

**virgy virge:** fuck you

**lo:** kindly shut up

**virgy virge:** okay ig

**roro:** ouchie

**raccoon:** logan just has a better way with words

**virgy virge:** nah, it’s just that logan’s my best friend and i love him so much platonically

**lo:** god, feelings are gross

  
**raccoon:** lmao mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've eaten so much starburst, it's disgusting, it's criminal
> 
> hnggggg, i've been waiting on my letters from colleges, i just need anything, a rejection letter, literally ANYTHING AT THIS POINT


	15. janny boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry bout being so late, i'm empty in the head lol
> 
> also, remus definitely calls pat sunshine and i don't take criticism

**patpat** to  **sunflower seeds**

**patpat:** i’m conflicted

**raccoon:** you okay, sunshine??

**patpat:** no

**patpat:** i’m genuinely thinking about maybe taking a gap semester

**raccoon:** ???

**patpat:** i just don’t think i can do college right now

**patpat:** my mental health is absolute garbage and i just can’t do this right now

**raccoon:** and that’s completely fine

**patpat:** i just don’t want to disappoint anyone

**patpat:** my parents are probably gonna be disappointed in me

**sure jan:** absolutely not

**sure jan:** pat, they might be mad at first, but not at you

**sure jan:** they could  _ never _ be disappointed in you

**sure jan:** if anything, i’m probably the one they would be kind of disappointed in

**virgy virge:** honestly, you’ve been kind of having a tough time recently, pat, it’d probably be good for you

**patpat:** i just really have no friends here and i just don’t like it here

**patpat:** everything is super party-oriented and people like to drink, vape, and do drugs and i don’t like it

**raccoon:** if you were to take time off, what would you do?

**patpat:** probably take a couple of classes at a community college and get a job

**patpat:** i really want to do that, i just don’t want to cause any trouble

**patpat:** my moms paid so much for college, my roommate would have to find someone else to fill the space, i’d have to go back home, probably, and it just doesn’t feel like it would be fair

**raccoon:** sunshine, don’t worry about what other people are doing

**raccoon:** what happens to anyone else isn’t your problem, just worry about yourself

**patpat:** okay, you literally know that i’m a people pleaser

**raccoon:** don’t worry, it’s gonna be okay, i promise

**lo:** if you believe that you need to take time off, oh my god, do it

**lo:** your well being is much more important than math courses

**patpat:** i know i need to do this because i’m just so tired and i don’t think i can do this right now

**sure jan:** have you talked to our parents about it?

**patpat:** no, not yet

**sure jan:** you should go and do it

**sure jan:** they’ll understand, dw

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Private Message**

**raccoon** to  **lo**

**raccoon:** logan logan logan

**lo:** what?

**raccoon:** i need your help with a project

**lo:** what’s it about?

**raccoon:** in graphic design, we have to create a campaign about a current event that’s kind of happening

**raccoon:** i was kind of thinking about doing transgender deaths in america and how the suicide rates are awful and i need your opinion

**lo:** okay, wow

**lo:** first of all, good topic

**lo:** second, if you’re looking for good information and statistics, try the trevor project, they’ve done extensive research

**raccoon:** i was thinking of either doing a statistics poster with like, bright colors to draw attention from passer byers and such or a more shock value one with a toe tag type deal

**lo:** honestly, i don’t have an eye for design like you do, i’m not sure how to help you

**lo:** just do whatever you think will get the point across clearly

**raccoon:** thanks, dude

  
  


* * *

  
  


**raccoon** to  **sunflower seeds**

**raccoon:** hngggggg,,,,, sandwiches

**patpat:** ?????

**raccoon:** i’ve been obsessed with sandwiches and bagels recently and i’m a simp for them

**roro:** i’m so clueless

**raccoon:** bro, we haven’t talked in so long

**roro:** _i know_ :(

**raccoon:** we need to hang out

**roro:** agreed

**raccoon:** walmart, 2 AM on tuesday?

**roro:** back home?

**raccoon:** yeah, sure

**roro:** got it

**sure jan:** what the heck is going on

**raccoon:** making plans, duh

**roro:** yeah, get with the program, janny

**sure jan:** you absolutely do  _ not _ have permission to call me that

**roro** has changed  **sure jan** ’s name to  **janny boy** !

**janny boy:** i hate this place

**virgy virge:** i love my friends so much

**virgy virge:** bullying my boyfriend is kinda fun

**janny boy:** i hope you die

**virgy virge:** no you don’t

**janny boy:** no i fucking don’t and i hate it

**virgy virge:** love you too, big guy

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Private Message**

**janny boy** to  **virgy virge**

**janny boy:** can we meet up?

**virgy virge:** everything alright?

**janny boy:** not really

**janny boy:** i really miss you and i’m tired

**janny boy:** can we both like, drive?

**virgy virge:** where?

**janny boy:** let’s just pick a direction and drive

**virgy virge:** i mean sure

**virgy virge:** i need a break too

**virgy virge:** i’ll ask my mom for the minivan so we can put blankets and pillows and stuff in the back in case we don’t find a hotel

**janny boy:** rad

**janny boy:** i just gotta tell my roommate

**virgy virge:** me too

**virgy virge:** pack a bag, we’re leaving at six

**janny boy:** rad

**virgy virge:** rad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i need to not have so many wips, it's an issue
> 
> also, you guys' comments are keeping me going


	16. oop

hey.

so, bad news- i've sort of kind of fallen out of the fandom? after four years, it's sort of time, i guess. i'm not saying that this is never going to be continued ever again, but for now, i don't really have any motivation to do this right now. this fandom has become increasingly toxic and i'm just not in the right headspace to be looking at all of it. the drama isn't worth sacrificing my mental health. i'm so sick of seeing all the same things, the fighting, the hate anons, the gatekeepers, the assholes who don't understand that the decisions in my writing are _my_ decisions, and no, i won't change the ships because i don't like prinxiety or logicality. it just has to stop.

i'm so sorry about this, but i'm gonna have to say goodbye for a little bit

moonjuice is out, bitches

**Author's Note:**

> i've missed writing in this format so much
> 
> kudos and comments are really appreciated and encouraged! they're what keeps the machine running, so don't be shy to message me on tumblr @moonjuicewiththepresident or comment on this!!


End file.
